A few years ago, I decided I wanted to become a mindfulness teacher.
At the time, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed. I had a lot on my plate and, looking back, mindfulness was probably exactly what I needed.
So I did what many of us do when we want to improve something.
I started researching.
I looked at different certifications. Compared programs. Spent hours watching videos.
At some point, my husband looked at me and said:
“How about you stop looking for another certification and just be mindful?”
I laughed. Because he was absolutely right.
There I was, trying to learn mindfulness instead of actually practicing it.
The funny thing is that I genuinely love learning. It’s one of my strongest character strengths.
I’ve spent thousands on courses, coaching, and certifications over the years, and I don’t regret any of it.
They can save you years by helping you avoid mistakes, move faster, and change your trajectory. The return on investment is often incredible.
But there's a difference between investing in support and hiding behind consumption.
A coach gives you accountability and makes you do the work. But endless self-consumption? It becomes a way to avoid growing and actually doing the thing.
So, on that note, yesterday I was speaking with someone who reminded me of this. He’s smart, driven, and incredibly resourceful.
The kind of person who moved overseas to build a better career and create new opportunities for himself and his family.
At one point he said something that really stuck with me.
“All my time goes into thinking about it instead of doing the actual work.”
Then he started describing what that looked like.
He thinks about the changes he wants to make while commuting. He watches YouTube videos for motivation. He makes plans in his head. And somehow the actual action keeps getting pushed to tomorrow.
I’ve heard versions of this conversation so many times.
Maybe you have as well.
You want to improve your health. You research the perfect workout or meal plan. You tell yourself you’ll start properly next month when things calm down. (which never does)
The strange part is that it feels productive. You feel connected to the goal. You feel like you’re working on it.
But there’s a big difference between thinking about change and creating change.
What Is Actually Happening in the Brain
When you consume content that excites you, your brain releases dopamine.
Dopamine is the anticipation chemical. It is about the promise of pleasure. The feeling of being on the edge of something good.
The problem is that dopamine does not care how you got it. Watching someone else do the thing gives you almost the same hit as doing it yourself.
Which means your brain starts to prefer watching over doing. It is lower risk. No chance of failure. No discomfort. Just the reward without the work.
And over time, you need more of it. Vicious cycle.
Meanwhile, the actual work (the workout, the meal prep, the habit...) stays on the list.
There is also something else happening.
When we are in a chronic state of overwhelm (too many goals, too many inputs, not enough rest), the prefrontal cortex - the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and follow-through - goes offline.
Literally. Overwhelm is not just a feeling. It is a physiological state that makes execution nearly impossible.
So the person who says, “I know exactly what I need to do, I just can’t make myself do it,” is not weak.
It's because their nervous system is dysregulated. And no amount of motivation will fix a dysregulated nervous system.
8 Ways to Break the Loop
In my work with clients and in my own life, this is what actually moves the needle.
- Name the avoidance. The next time you open YouTube or start planning in your head instead of doing the thing, just notice it. Say it out loud if you can: “Oh, there it is.” Awareness is the first interruption.
- Turn learning into action immediately. For every piece of content you consume, take one action. Read an article about walking? Go for a walk. Listen to a podcast about sleep? Set your bedtime. Watch a strength training video? Do ten squats.
- Make the first step embarrassingly small. Not “go to the gym.” Put on your workout clothes. Not “hydrate well.” Drink a glass of water after you brush your teeth. Your brain needs evidence that the task is survivable before it will cooperate. Give it that.
- Do the hard thing first. Before you open your phone, before you check anything, do the one thing you have been avoiding for 5 minutes. Then decide if you want to continue. You almost always will.
- Move your body to reset your brain. When the overwhelm is high and you cannot make yourself start, move first. A 10-minute walk outside or a quick dance to your favorite song changes your neurochemistry fast. The body leads. The brain follows.
- Look into your sleep habits. Poor sleep keeps the nervous system in threat mode all day. If you are chronically tired and overwhelmed, more effort is not the answer. More rest is. It is simple biology.
- Find natural dopamine first. Sunlight in the morning. Making your bed. Cold water on your face. Music you love. When you start the day with real dopamine sources, the pull toward the endless scroll is much weaker.
- Limit the consumption. If you spend 2 hours consuming health content and zero minutes moving your body, the math is off. Set a simple rule that works: for every hour you consume, spend 30 minutes doing. Cap your input and then go live it.
The Mindset Shift
Instead of “why can’t I just do this?” ask: “What is making this feel so threatening right now?”
Start getting curious.
Sometimes the answer is simple. You are tired. You are overwhelmed. You have taken on too much.
Sometimes it is deeper. You are afraid of failing at the thing you actually care about, so you stay forever in the preparation stage, where failure is not yet possible.
But consuming forever is its own kind of failure. The kind where you look up five years from now and realize you knew everything and did nothing.
Your Tiny Experiment This Week
Pick one thing you have been “preparing” to do for longer than two weeks.
Put the action in your calendar and actually “do it.”
And notice what happens.
Hit reply and tell me what you picked. I read every single one.
With energy,
Gözde
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